April (Happy Easter!)

I was enjoying a wonderful Easter Sunday until I made the mistake of stepping on the scales. This still would have been fine if I had just kept my eyes closed and thus not realised that somehow I've managed to put back on the entire two and a bit kilos I'd lost since last year - and yes, I know it wasn't much but it was all I had, or hadn't. The worst thing is that I've got no-one to blame but myself. For some reason I gave myself permission a few weeks ago to start eating copious amounts of anything and everything, and I haven't stopped since. Chocolate clinkers with their crispy pastel centres, caramel and pecan biscuits, hot cross buns with lashings of melted butter, chilli and sour cream crackers, crumbly vintage cheese and slithers of shaved triple-smoked ham... the list goes on (and on). Of course Easter hasn't helped. All that chocolate. So little time.
The result of this unrestrained gluttony is that while going for a walk this morning I realised that my thighs weren't just rubbing together, they were clinging to each other lovingly. Like identical twins that resent being separated, even for a moment. Apart from the fact that the time is long past when that sort of attitude might have come in handy, it was damn uncomfortable. So, feeling rather motivated by the whole thigh thing, I gave my daughter's Wii Fit a try - only to be told, rather perfunctorily, that I was obese. Not mildly plump, or even a trifle on the fat side, but obese! To add insult to injury, the bloody thing then issued me with a little representative figure on the screen that was as round as it was tall. I looked like a less-colourful version of one of the M & M men.
Needless to say I have given up on the Wii Fit until it injects itself with a modicum of etiquette. But clearly something has to be done. And tomorrow seems like a good day to start because it's a Monday, and Mondays are always terrific for fresh starts. So common sense tells me if that's the case, I'd better go and finish all my Easter eggs tonight. Happy Easter!

1 comment:

corymbia said...

I'm so glad I discovered this blog - its almost as funny as most of your books (I'm laughing *with* you, not *at* you - and so are my thighs!).